According to some, I'm an "overweight, over-the-hill, nicotine-stained alcoholic homophobe with a superiority complex and an unhealthy attitude to male bonding". And they say it like it's a bad thing!

What the hell do they know anyway! Better that than a great, soft ,sissy, girly, nancy, French bender, Man United supportin' poof!

Detective Chief Inspector, North West CID, A Division, Manchester

Westerns, poker, Manchester City, darts, a pint or several down the pub, beating up suspects, terrifying witnesses, getting up the nose of me picky pain-in-the-arse D.I., putting bastard criminals in prison